Two days off from the Eldo in a ROW!!

w00t!!!

So, Satan Kitty is evil and Christmas is cancelled and since there is 500 feet of snow outside and we can't really put up Christmas lights. But there will be a tree, so help me!! And i do have a wreath on the door. And I think I'll do what I can with the lights any way.

So, I don't know if you remember, but the reason behind my working at the Eldo was so I could pay off my carto de creditos. Yeah, that didn't happen. But I now have a new plan in place which will commence in February. And I'll bloody well stick to it this time. I swear!

Also since I will not be working two jobs, I will be able to join my co-worker's spinning studio and my other co-worker's Hula dance studio. Satan Kitty put the kibosh to the ballroom dance class plans. Fucking Cat.


I am so excited for next year. Not because I'm into the whole "new" year new start thing, I figure, if you want to make a new start, why wait until a certain date? But because, like I said, the Eldo job s going away and that just happens to coincide with the New Year. But I still have to suffer through the next two weeks I am going to think about this year - these were my resolutions, let's see how I did:

• Get new job with possibility of careerness. Not so much a resolution as a need to do or will have no money.
Done and done! And I have to say I love my job so much!

• Take dog for walk before work and after work. IF it's warmer than 15° outside.
Fail. The two jobs thing is murder

• Make front room into a Zen yoga paradise with bright colors and textiles
Striking this because now it's my mother's guest room.

• Buy Bookshelves (have bookshelves picked out these for the living room, these for the living room. Except there will only be the desk and one shelf.)
Half done.

• DO NOT USE CREDIT CARD
Fail.

• If do not have a good job by July get ready to sit for LSAT in December

• Fuck it, get ready to sit for LSAT in December ----> why do I keep putting this off? Do Not Understand. . .?

Neither of these two things are necessary at this point, although I may still go to law school someday. . .

How the Cat Stole Christmas

On Sunday Satan Kitty snuck his way into the sewing room and, as Gary discovered when we got up that morning, ate most of a spool of thread off the sewing machine. There was a trail of string all the way down the stairs and around the dinning room table. Gary tried to pull the thread out of Satan Kitty's mouth, but was not successful. At all. The cat acted like the end of the world was upon us, so Gary just cut the thread.

Then for the next couple of days, Satan Kitty tried and tried and tried to barf up his little indiscretion. But alas, poor Satan Kitty. Nothing.

So he started moping around and hiding under things and not eating and not drinking any water.

So on Wednesday I had to go to trial in Lovelock (I got to see Nevada's most Famous Inmate) and when I got back at 6:30 my cat was a mess. He was dehydrated and he could barely move and I really thought he was going to die. I completely lost my shit and started crying and carrying on. So my older sister, who is staying with me (long story) called her vet (mine does not do after-hours emergencies) and as we were walking out the door, Gary was walking in the door. SO we all piled into his truck and headed to Minden, which is about 20 minutes south of here.

So the vet has to x-ray and then operate on my stupid fucking cat. He called later that night and told Gary that the stupid cat has the thread wrapped around the base of his tongue, in his stomach and in his small intestines. What a shit head. But the operation went well and he should be OK, but they want to keep him until he eats some food.

On Thursday I went to visit Satan Kitty and to give the Vet some IAMS because the cat will barf if he eats anything else. The people at the Vet's office tell me that Satan Kitty is hiding under things and behind things and is generally "shy." Which means, in my opinion, bitchy and melodramatic. He won't eat and he won't drink so they have him on IV fluids. As they are telling me this, all I can think is, "Drama Queen. He's being a spoiled bitch because he's not at home and he doesn't like it here and he can't sleep on my pillow."

So they keep him until Saturday. We got him back and he looks:



Like a retread.

Anyway, now he's home and happy to be sleeping on my pillow and chillin' on the couch and being in charge. What a poop Wiener. He cost us $1,500. Just because he can. He is the Cat Who Stole Christmas. We were going to buy a TV. But I figure having our kitty alive is a good enough present. And the vet is allowing us to do post-dated cheques as payments. That's another funny story, I only had two cheques with me at the time, I didn't even think to check that I had enough. SO now I get to drive myself back down to Minden on Monday to give her the other two.

My cat is evil.

But I'm glad he's OK

SNOW DAY!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I Haven't had a snow day since I was 10!!!!! WOOO HOOOO!! So fucking excited!!


FUCKING SNOW DAY!!!!

Can't. Stop. Laughing!!!

After this review, I kind of want to read it.

Ow, my sides hurt!!

LINK

THE DEVIN'S ADVOCATE: WHY BREAKING DAWN MUST BE MADE INTO A MOVIE
By Devin Faraci Published 11/27/2009 News
With New Moon likely to make yet another metric fuckload of money this weekend we need to find the bright side to the entire Twilight mania. There must be something good that comes from this awful Mormon fantasy that seems to have invaded our culture on every front. That something is the eventual movie version of Breaking Dawn.

Even though New Moon has made a bazillion dollars and even though the third Twilight book, Eclipse, is already filming, Summit has declined to announce the fourth and final Twilight book as a movie. There's a good reason for this: Breaking Dawn is completely fucking insane, and it is probably totally unfilmable. But if they do film it... man, we are in for a treat.

Breaking Dawn opens with Bella Swan, the lacteal heroine of the series, finally getting married to Edward Cullen, the mopey vampire hero. They go off to honeymoon on Isle Esme, a Brazilian island the Cullen clan owns (this is already ridiculous beyond belief. Imagine a vampire going snorkeling; it basically happens in this book), and Edward is afraid to fuck his new bride. The reason: he's super strong and she's just a human - Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex type of situation here. But Bella wears him down and Edward throws it in her - and knocks her the fuck out, leaving her badly bruised.

Let's go over that again: Edward fucks Bella into unconsciousness. This alone should have you running to Fandango to pre-order your tickets, but it only gets better.

Despite being knocked out cold by his sexual style (and having the headboard destroyed), Bella goes back to Edward for seconds. This time he knocks her up. Yes, an undead vampire apparently has enough viable sperm to impregnate a human woman while fucking her off the coast of Rio de Janero. Stephenie Meyer, you fabulous idiot!

The baby in Bella's belly starts growing incredibly fast. And it starts hurting Bella, as each kick it gives has the super strength of a vampire behind it. As it grows, Bella gets sicker, and then the good stuff starts. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella's ribs and then severs her spine. Are you imagining Kristen Stewart wearing a fake pregnancy belly and pretending to have been suddenly crippled by her own fetus? Because I am and it's making me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Oh wait, I missed something. Edward is completely freaked out about the baby, fearing it will kill Bella. He tries to convince her to get an abortion (but seriously, how could she? Vampires are tough to kill even in this shitty series), and goes so far as asking Native American wolfboy Jacob to impregnate his wife so that she can have the baby she desperately wants. I'm dizzy with how ridiculous this is, and we're just getting started.

Eventually the baby starts to get born and Bella is dying. The baby has telepathy, by the way, so everybody can read its thoughts while it's in the womb, and it turns out to have an essentially adult mind. Like Alia in Dune; I would accuse Stephenie Meyer of ripping this off, but anyone who thinks that Meyer might have read Frank Herbert has never been within spitting distance of Twilight. The woman is a moron.

In a moment that demands to be shown on the silver screen, Edward gives Bella an emergency C-section with his fucking teeth. It's like something out of XTro, for the love of God. It's so horrible it's brilliant, and this scene alone is why I remain firm in declaring that David Cronenberg must direct Breaking Dawn. This is surely his movie.

Once the baby is out, Bella gets vamped by Edward, as she's about to die at any moment. Then comes the most astonishing turn of events in 21st century literature, and possibly in the entire history of awful fiction aimed at tweens: Jacob the werewolf, who has been madly in love with Bella, sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman's terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.

I want to pull this out on its own: Jacob falls in love with a baby.

The book makes no bones about this; while Jacob doesn't want to fuck the baby right off the bat, he can't stand to be away from it and visits everyday. His love has been transferred from Bella to the baby (who has the tongue shattering name Renesmee), and because of the science behind imprinting he'll love her forever. So one day he's going to stick his wolf dick in this girl that he see as a bloody newborn. Romance is not dead, it's just being abused by insane Mormon writers.

There's more in Breaking Dawn - the Volturi come back, for one thing - but these are the main amazing events that demand this book to be turned into a film. I will not rest until I have seen a movie in which a werewolf falls in love with a baby. Hell, once I've seen a werewolf fall in love with a baby I may quit movie watching - I will have seen the ultimate culmination of a century of cinema. The entire film of Breaking Dawn would play like the weirdest exploitation film since Doris Wishman died - brutal sex, bizarre body horror, unbelievable pedophilia.

A werewolf falling in love with a baby. This is why Thomas Edison invented this shit in the first place. So we could see a werewolf fall in love with a baby.

Hey guess what?!?!

I have a cold

Thanksgiving!

YAY!

*Yawn*

Just had a very lovely day off yesterday. Gary and I both bought winter coats! YAY!!! My old coat finally gave up (read: fell apart and died a horrible, long drawn-out death, despite many attempts at repair) and Gary has lived in the desert for the past ten years of his life and only owned light jackets. SO we won't freeze to death this winter. I also bought a new pair of hiking boots that I plan to have all broken in and ready to go by late Spring because I still want to go to Yosemite. We found a canoe that is usually $800+ on sale for $500 at Scheels. Hmmmmm. . . conflict there because we were planning on buying a new T.V for Christmas, but I doubt we'll see such a good deal again anytime soon. And I want to go Canoeing in Yosemite this spring/summer!

Speaking of winter, we have already had two BIG snow storms here. The ski resorts are going to open the weekend after Thanksgiving! We've decided that this is the year I learn to Ski. GAH! I've never skied before! Should be entertaining. Gary hasn't skied since before his accident and that was about 5 years ago; so he really wants to see if he can start up again. And also, it sounds like at least one of my Attorneys might indeed be planning a weekend, and I wouldn't want to a) miss that b) look like an idiot if I do go. SO, learning how to ski. . . *gulp*

Let's see, what else? As discussed on TBF, I bought a new gun. It is seriously needy.

My sister called me the other day and demanded the number for a "no-kill pound. I am getting rid of the dogs." So, using my awesome contacts, I found a couple people who are willing to give the Basset Hound a forever home. Yesterday we were supposed to take him to Morgan's Mom for a meeting. Jena called me while we were at Costco and told me that she didn't want to get rid of her dog. I told her fine, but I will not help her again and the next time she calls me like that I am going to tell her to take the dogs to the vet herself and get the euthanized. On her own dime. These aren't toys, they are lives. She sucks.

But on a happier note, while we were at Costco, we bought out Turkey!

Oh and my mother decided that she needs to stick her nose in my life, let's see, what was that? Tuesday? Can't remember. I do remember being pissed off, however. It started when a banker from Wells Fargo Financial called and we discussed using the equity in this house to pay off the Condo in Vegas. Since the Condo in Vegas is a black hole I though, Maybe that will work. So I called my mom and she wouldn't even consider it. Which makes no sense to me what-so-ever because SHE is the one paying for the Mortgage down there. So that conversation ended and she started asking why I was still slaving away at the Eldo when I have a good paying job. I told her a couple of weeks ago that I was pissed off at the Eldo because my boss expects me to work on Thanksgiving which also happens to be my Birthday this year. I was indeed pissed and ready to quit, but I don't want to screw over my co-worker up there. BUT Kai and Morgan (teh awesomest) finagled me Thanksgiving off. So everything is good. SO, back to the phone conversation, my mother the proceeds to tell me that I don't need the stress, I don't need to be dricving back and forth to Reno all the time, I don't "owe them anything" (qua?) and why am I still working there? Is it money? Then tell Gary that he needs to get his second job back (Gary only has one job because #a He's in school. #b He's getting money from the G.I. Bill. #c . . . Well. . . I guess there is no #c). So I told my mother that I'm not working at the Eldo because we need extra money because Gary only has one job. I'm working there to pay off my credit card. (Which, by the way, I have not done and was another reason I suggested taking a loan out on the Carson house. BUT I have a plan! I'm not going to worry about it until January! Good Plan!)

THEN she says the following, which almost made me hang up on her:

"Then why are you doing it? Are you hiding from your boyfriend?"

And then she laughed.

I don't know about you, but I don't do Passive-Aggressive. It pisses me off and makes me want to cause grievous bodily harm. I don't know what the fuck her problem with Gary is, but I'm over it. I'm sick of it. I have confronted her on it several times and she says she doesn't have a problem with Gary. But then she does bullshit stuff like this. She has some huge pathological hatred of him and at this point I really don't care what it is. Her "jokes" are entirely inappropriate. Her attitude forces me to be secretive about certain things and outright lie about others. I can't think of any good examples right now, I just know I've had to be sneaky about things with her to avoid bullshit or a full-on fight.

Anyway, I don't remember where I was going with this, but I was pissed off.

But I promise, other than my mother and my INSANE older sister, everything is going really well! :-)

I also bought new socks.